It's 9PM on Saturday night. The perfect time to chill. Especially since the baby is down for the night and my husband is off at his friends house. I fed the baby, ate a not so spectacular dinner, bathed her and put her to bed. I showered myself, and here I am now.
I like the quiet of the evening. The week has been exceptionally long, tiring, and disappointing. I'm still looking for new employment... just something different. I applied for an internal opening that I saw at work and hope very much that I get that one. It would go a long way in making a difference.
I really had to ask myself this week, what the purpose of a career was. I mean honestly, most of us work because we have to. We need the income and want the benefits. And we strive for promos within work because they increase the income and sometimes improve the benefits. But other than that, what's really the purpose of career?
I have an engineering degree and work with brilliant people. But I have to confess, that I'm not sated here. While I find engineering enjoyable, there is something about the current line of work that I'm in... there is less engineering and more indicator management, which I find awfully tedious. I have a fondness for efficiency, so seeing things like ridiculous actions taken to make sure a self inflicted punishment doesn't take place doesn't really ring positive with me.
Maybe I'm just tired. I see plenty of things that I want to do... but like many families out there, our family has to make it on the income that I provide. Sometimes it feels like I'm stuck. Change it coming, though :) It has to.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Monday, March 8, 2010
In need of change... but when?
I think I need a career change.
I don't know exactly what I want to change it to, or when the first safe time would be. My husband currently isn't working. And that's okay. We've always lived frugally and it helps in times like these. For once in my life, I don't want to do something technical. I want to do something creative. And truly, even if the job scope lent itself to some kind of creative streak in a technical world, I still think I would be happier. I don't want to subscribe to "be thankful for your job" because though I try to remind myself of that, I don't really feel it. I think later today I will spend some time looking at internal postings and maybe updating my resume. My manager is supposed to have career discussions with me. This ought to lead to him offering up contacts or possible training to help further me in the areas in which I hope to develop. I know that it is hopeless to ask for anything further when the only answer that he can seem to repeat is, "It's not that bad." He justifies to me that I should stay because he stays and even though he says he hates his job, he still continues to work.
But then life is about choices, isn't it? I have a choice to stay on doing the same thing I do, or I can start to look for something different, internal or external to this company. I don't think that his justification should keep me tied here. His choice is to stay. I have a choice, too, and I may not choose the same path as him -- justification or not.
Anyhow, that aside, I started P90X Lean on Saturday. After 9 months of pregnancy and 15 months of neglecting my core, it is in sad, sad shape. I was, however, so pleased that my arm strength hadn't completely dropped off. I had started P90X Classic about a month before I returned from Maternity leave and though I absolutely suck at pull-ups, I found that I could accomplish push-ups. So yesterday, in the core synergistics program, I was actually able to do them! :) Lifting an 18 lb toddler likely helps a lot.
With the start of my newfound ambition to be lean and fit, I decided that I *should* start the nutrition program that goes along with it (all this because I happened upon a P90X informercial and I really, really want to be like those people in the after photos). I think that they focus largely on proteins and veggies -- all good stuff. But my husband just bought a big bag of Kettle chips and then there were those Krispy Kremes that we stopped for on the way home on Saturday night... and he said something about nachos today. Damn those carbs.
I don't know exactly what I want to change it to, or when the first safe time would be. My husband currently isn't working. And that's okay. We've always lived frugally and it helps in times like these. For once in my life, I don't want to do something technical. I want to do something creative. And truly, even if the job scope lent itself to some kind of creative streak in a technical world, I still think I would be happier. I don't want to subscribe to "be thankful for your job" because though I try to remind myself of that, I don't really feel it. I think later today I will spend some time looking at internal postings and maybe updating my resume. My manager is supposed to have career discussions with me. This ought to lead to him offering up contacts or possible training to help further me in the areas in which I hope to develop. I know that it is hopeless to ask for anything further when the only answer that he can seem to repeat is, "It's not that bad." He justifies to me that I should stay because he stays and even though he says he hates his job, he still continues to work.
But then life is about choices, isn't it? I have a choice to stay on doing the same thing I do, or I can start to look for something different, internal or external to this company. I don't think that his justification should keep me tied here. His choice is to stay. I have a choice, too, and I may not choose the same path as him -- justification or not.
Anyhow, that aside, I started P90X Lean on Saturday. After 9 months of pregnancy and 15 months of neglecting my core, it is in sad, sad shape. I was, however, so pleased that my arm strength hadn't completely dropped off. I had started P90X Classic about a month before I returned from Maternity leave and though I absolutely suck at pull-ups, I found that I could accomplish push-ups. So yesterday, in the core synergistics program, I was actually able to do them! :) Lifting an 18 lb toddler likely helps a lot.
With the start of my newfound ambition to be lean and fit, I decided that I *should* start the nutrition program that goes along with it (all this because I happened upon a P90X informercial and I really, really want to be like those people in the after photos). I think that they focus largely on proteins and veggies -- all good stuff. But my husband just bought a big bag of Kettle chips and then there were those Krispy Kremes that we stopped for on the way home on Saturday night... and he said something about nachos today. Damn those carbs.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
What for? And why now?
It seems like I often come across something that I want to share with others or look for answers from people outside my normal sphere of influence.
This first post has little to do with yummy things. Although, I will go so far as to say that yesterday was thoroughly enjoyable in so far as food was concerned. The evening ended with a not-so-quick drive-thru at the Krispy Kreme: We took home five deliciously fresh donuts (two chocolate glazed kreme filled, one glazed kreme filled [we love kreme, even if it isn't spelled correctly], one raspberry filled, and one "chocolate cake" donut). Oddly, we thought it would be faster going through the drive-thru, especially since we had a 15 month old in the back seat who has recently learned that all her new muscles can struggle easily against parents trying to strap her into a carseat.
The Krispy Kreme was oddly inefficient. The chap running the drive-thru had to go back and forth to the register to check on each item. It kind of made the two of us wonder why they didn't opt to just print out the itemized receipt (which they had done for us) and take it with them when they went to pull the donut. Regardless, once we had those little gems in our neat little box, we couldn't wait to bite into one: Teeth cracking through the sugary glaze and breaking through the pillowy-soft, yeasty donut with the kreme filling. How pleasant!
We had been driving back from dinner at Pok Pok. For those who are local to my area, they are probably familiar with Pok Pok. It is a mix of Thai and Vietnamese cuisine, but unlike the standard Thai and Vietnamese restaurants, it shies away from the various curries, pad Thai, and pho, that ubiquitous beef noodle soup that is so good on a cold day. Pok Pok, rather, focuses on fresh ingredients and they cook up wonderful street-type foods and very homey, braised items, such as pork belly. The two fellows that were with me let me do the ordering. We ordered the signature pok pok (green papaya salad with roasted peanuts, tomatoes, fish sauce, sugar, and hot peppers), Vietnamese fish sauce wings (the Vietnamese take on hot wings, which I remember as ga kho -- I'll figure out the VN accents later, but they were crunchy from being fried), boar's collar (delicious and gamey and very, very spicy), and hoi thwat (which was read, intially and incorrectly, by one of my companions as "hot twat" -- a crispy egg and mussel crepe, which I suspect must be made with a little bit of rice flour for that wonderful crunch). We ordered one more dish, ribs, which I didn't get a chance to sample.
Now, I love my little baby, but she doesn't give me much of a chance to savor things when we go out. That's fine because I get a kick out of letting her try new things. She loved my limeade and enjoyed the coconut rice and the crepe. I figured we'd save the spicier items for when she was a little older.
Anyway, that was only the culmination to the day. Earlier I had watched the movie "Revolutionary Road." I'm sure plenty of people have seen it. What I wanted to know, from the general public who has viewed it, was what their take on it was. I'd love to hear what you all thought about the Wheelers. In every disagreement, there are two sides and who is really the one with "mental problems" here? Frank says that April needs psychiatric help. She feels hopeless. He does too. Yet the one guy in the movie, John (?) is the only one that has ever been committed, and he recognizes hopelessness and calls it as it is. What are your thoughts?
This first post has little to do with yummy things. Although, I will go so far as to say that yesterday was thoroughly enjoyable in so far as food was concerned. The evening ended with a not-so-quick drive-thru at the Krispy Kreme: We took home five deliciously fresh donuts (two chocolate glazed kreme filled, one glazed kreme filled [we love kreme, even if it isn't spelled correctly], one raspberry filled, and one "chocolate cake" donut). Oddly, we thought it would be faster going through the drive-thru, especially since we had a 15 month old in the back seat who has recently learned that all her new muscles can struggle easily against parents trying to strap her into a carseat.
The Krispy Kreme was oddly inefficient. The chap running the drive-thru had to go back and forth to the register to check on each item. It kind of made the two of us wonder why they didn't opt to just print out the itemized receipt (which they had done for us) and take it with them when they went to pull the donut. Regardless, once we had those little gems in our neat little box, we couldn't wait to bite into one: Teeth cracking through the sugary glaze and breaking through the pillowy-soft, yeasty donut with the kreme filling. How pleasant!
We had been driving back from dinner at Pok Pok. For those who are local to my area, they are probably familiar with Pok Pok. It is a mix of Thai and Vietnamese cuisine, but unlike the standard Thai and Vietnamese restaurants, it shies away from the various curries, pad Thai, and pho, that ubiquitous beef noodle soup that is so good on a cold day. Pok Pok, rather, focuses on fresh ingredients and they cook up wonderful street-type foods and very homey, braised items, such as pork belly. The two fellows that were with me let me do the ordering. We ordered the signature pok pok (green papaya salad with roasted peanuts, tomatoes, fish sauce, sugar, and hot peppers), Vietnamese fish sauce wings (the Vietnamese take on hot wings, which I remember as ga kho -- I'll figure out the VN accents later, but they were crunchy from being fried), boar's collar (delicious and gamey and very, very spicy), and hoi thwat (which was read, intially and incorrectly, by one of my companions as "hot twat" -- a crispy egg and mussel crepe, which I suspect must be made with a little bit of rice flour for that wonderful crunch). We ordered one more dish, ribs, which I didn't get a chance to sample.
Now, I love my little baby, but she doesn't give me much of a chance to savor things when we go out. That's fine because I get a kick out of letting her try new things. She loved my limeade and enjoyed the coconut rice and the crepe. I figured we'd save the spicier items for when she was a little older.
Anyway, that was only the culmination to the day. Earlier I had watched the movie "Revolutionary Road." I'm sure plenty of people have seen it. What I wanted to know, from the general public who has viewed it, was what their take on it was. I'd love to hear what you all thought about the Wheelers. In every disagreement, there are two sides and who is really the one with "mental problems" here? Frank says that April needs psychiatric help. She feels hopeless. He does too. Yet the one guy in the movie, John (?) is the only one that has ever been committed, and he recognizes hopelessness and calls it as it is. What are your thoughts?
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